I woke up one day to find them around my bed. I had not seen the sunshine for ages, and bedsores were already forming all over my body. Someone had to turn me round every now and then to avoid me rotting on one side. This day they came early. Feebly I could recognizes my parents, my brothers and my sisters all of them holding Rosaries in their hands. Occasionally other relatives of mine would come to pray what had been my highest devotion (the rosary) around my deathbed. Now my family had taken the responsibility of doing it twice a day. I had a feeling that they were now recommending me to my heavenly mother, for the hope of my recovery was dwindling day after another.
I had gotten used to their sobs every time they came by my bed, but this day it was sickening. My mother wailed aloud asking God to free me from the suffering I was undergoing. Immediately than I had expected, the whole family begun to pour down tears that I could not bear seeing. I did not know for how long they had gone on, for at some point I saw it, or is it him? The light was blinding and the sound of a waterfall made my ears ache. I was falling in a bottomless pit. I could not control my movements and my struggle to sit or stand was in vain. I was falling at a supersonic speed and my energy was diminishing fast. Unknown to my family of the experience I was undergoing, they saw me moving my legs violently and shaking my hands as if wanting to grab something. They saw my eyes rove from side to side as if trying to speculate something and this became a sign of the event to follow. It was evident that I was now kicking the last. It was a confirmation that time had come. My falling was fast that I thought it would take, and before long I landed in a pool of water. That was the last time I saw or heard them praying.
The box was too small for me to turn. I was literary suffocating, or rather if I would have been alive I would have suffocated. It was pitch dark inside. I felt the box move and I was sure that the journey had begun. They lifted me up and carried me across the valley. They place the box on a table around which a multitude had gathered. I could hear them singing dirges through the tightly closed coffin. The ceremony started and someone was called to give my eulogy. Others followed to give testimonies of how good I had been. It was the usual things done in funerals and I was not surprised to hear them exaggerating my virtues to a level of canonizing me.
The main celebrant took over bringing the ceremony to its climax. The coffin shook once, twice and the third time it did so I was sure that I was now inside the grave. With huge spades they began sending soil on me. I could have screamed if I had been alive. If there is anything disturbing is seeing a chunk of soil heading to your eyes yet you can not take it away, turn your head, or do something possible to avoid the impact. Mercilessly they piled the grave with soil and I could almost feel the weight of the mountain they had created on me.
Having finished the job and having put me in their past, they turned away one by one and left the valley. I could imagine seeing them heading away from the valley. They were now thinking of their unfinished businesses. They had much to do to better their lives. They had done what is usual and normal – burying the dead. They had earned a mark for performing one act of mercy. They were keeping a treasure in heaven before their own journey. Their departure made me think twice. It manifested to me how useless I was to them. It showed me the huge gap between me and them. It made clear to me the extent to which human bond can go. It proved to me that as human beings we may be very close to one another, but then our destinies are as wide apart as east is from the west. It proved to me that a time comes in one's life in which the community becomes as helpless as he/she is. This manifested to me how contractual human relationships are. It was at that time that I began seeing what I should have seen before, and what many living human beings never see - the fact that our relationships are meant to help us be in harmony with the transcendent. I was helpless in the grave and soon I would be meeting Him. I was to face my destiny as an individual. It was at this moment that I realized that it is through the experience of death that we can see the necessity of salvation. I wished that all those who had buried me knew this secret. (Lk.16:27). I pitied them when I remembered the indifference of human beings in matters of spirituality. I knew that they had now forgotten me and they could have even been enjoying themselves in sinful ways. For a moment I realized the reality faced the rich man mentioned from Lk. 16:19.
I did not know I long I had been in that state of uncertainty, but in a turn of events what had been a tight coffin turned into a large splendid staircase. I was at the foot of it and all around it was a thick cloud. At the top of the staircase was a bright light too much to bear. I struggled to move higher, but at some point it was impossible. The light was so strong that I could feel the rays turning into heat. I stood, my head bowed down and my hands hanging loosely on me. My legs almost gave way. Again, a period almost as long as eternity passed, and I was beginning to sob when from the bright light came one who was clothed in Gold. She was very beautiful, and her white dazzling garment almost blinded me. On her bluish silvery veil, which formed part of her long garment, was a crown of pure gold. The long diamond-beaded rosary in her hand shone magnificently every time she moved, and the surface beneath her feet was glassy. With a tender consoling voice she called me, immediately enabling me to move a step higher the stairway. As she beckoned me she pointed at him whom she had loved so much. Two three steps higher and I was in front of him. He had wound in his hands and feet, and on his head was a crown of diamonds. His throne was covered by a silvery mist and was literary speaking the source of the light and the light itself. The area just around him was glittering with precious stones of all types, and a cool breeze hung around him.
Realizing my anguish, he called me by my name and stretching his luminous hand towards me he touched me. His voice was calm, gentle and healing.
"My son" he said "I loved, called you, and saved you. For you I was born, and for you was killed. For you I stayed in the grave for three days and for you I ascended to heaven. I am the alpha and Omega. Welcome in my kingdom." Taking me by the hand, he led me up the staircase into a starry room where a big feast was in progress. As I stepped into the room, my body shone like the sun, my bitterness and anguish earthly life disappeared. I joined the crowd as the hymn reached its climax: Hosanna in the highest!!!
