In my father’s house there are many places to live in; otherwise I would have told you (Jn 14:2). What a consoling phrase! It is a confirmation of security, an assurance of abundance and a guarantee of providence. These words of Jesus must have been consoling to the disciples, who had been upset by the news that one of them would betray him. From these words, Jesus associated a father with the power to provide, guide and protect. Of course from the beginning the term “father” has been almost a synonym of care, protection and guidance. It has been an image of authority: not authority as domination, but as a power assuring stability of life and credibility of testimony to what is lived. The social decadence in our world today says a lot about the availability of authority figures, the respect for those available, the steady decline in the appreciation of father figures in our society. I take it for granted that you also see the heart breaking reality in which the father figure in our society has been gradually and systematically either pushed aside or silenced into being just another partner in marriage.

Some time ago when a man married a woman she substituted the name of her father with that of her husband as a sign of a sense of belonging to him. Ideally, it also showed the change of guard as far as who would be taking care of her from then henceforth. Today, many women frown at the idea. Other women today do not accept keeping a ring on the their finger after wedding because, according to them, it is as a sign of being dominated by another person. These may be very trivial examples, but I believe they show a change of mentality among the women folk. The change of mentality in women is understandable. For centuries they have been oppressed and misused in many various cultures and, therefore, it is only fair that in this era they should be given the space and respect that they deserve. Through education, women have discovered their dignity; they have discovered their capacities, and they have been empowered to contribute in the socio-political and economic spheres in the world. The emancipation of women has produced fruits – they are not only free and knowledgeable, but they also provide resources for social change. However, the lack of balance in the process of empowering women has tilted the balance off, so that men today are on the receiving end. With women entering in the space of being bread winners that was once a man’s reserve, men find themselves in an awkward situation. With laws made to “save the oppressed woman” and public opinion inclined to accept the woman’s side of story when there is a dispute between man and woman, what else do you expect? The male gender has become an endangered species. With all initiatives of development focused on the girl child, and all banks inclined to fund the poor woman, the boy child’s affairs have become a thing of the past, and man’s ego is put six feet underground.

The result of this in not obscure. With nowhere to run, man has turned to the false hope of alcoholism and drugs. Has anybody noted the rising reality of homosexuality in the world? Do you think that this is just by chance? Certainly not! How did that one-time abomination become a common place reality in our society? And the reality of domestic violence in which men are silently and brutally assaulted – including the recent wave of cutting men’s private parts in Kenya. Have you not heard of women saying that they don’t need men to have children because sperm banks exists? Well, perhaps someone should remind them that sperms do not grow on trees, and neither are they products of Coca Cola – just to say that they are not produced in laboratories. In any case where did all this start? You don’t need an encyclopaedia to know it! All this started when education was transformed from being an accompaniment to being empowerment. Let me juggle your mind a bit. When the missionaries arrived in Africa, education, that is construction of schools and training teachers, became part and parcel of evangelization, because they knew that only a person who knew himself or herself more deeply could see the relationship between him or her and God. Education at that time was not just giving a person material for the head, or a preparation for a “good paper” through which a person could compete for jobs with others. It was a means through which one would understand the meaning of life and, hence, the relationship between existence and the ultimate goal of existing. Education was accompanying, correcting, and encouraging a person to be what he was created to be. That vision of education was inseparable from the Ultimate Being, who is the author not only of authority, but also of paternity. The transfer of education’s goal from "being" to "having" saw material things take centre stage in the life of people and the earthly figure of divine authority, that is the father in the family, becoming undermined. That situation, compounded by an exaggeration of the rights of children, made the force behind the correction of children in the family a tall task. The days when the words “don’t do that because you will be beaten by your father” were gone, because “touching” a child became a licence to go to jail for some time. Not only did the educative authority of the father become dented, but also the corrective authority of teachers in school became undermined. The teacher became one who imparts intellectual material to a child, as a tool of empowerment to get a good job and earn a lot, and not one who guides character growth. The rest is history as they say...

The systematic undermining of the father figure in the society is the cause of the lack of respect for authority in the world. How can children respect a father who is undermined from all corners. The suppression of the father figure by laws that seem to favour the woman has “femininized” the man and taken away his “head of the family” title. There is no longer a pillar of authority in the family: isn’t this the reason behind the rise of criminality in our society? And as the father figure is neutralized, do you expect the children to know that they should respect their neighbours, teachers, catechists or priests? Certainly not! As a result, the situation leads to the hardening of people’s hearts towards spiritual realities. Obviously this is automatic. If people grow up afraid or annoyed of an authority figure, because it seems to represent domination, do you expect them to obey some moral codes in which God is the authority? No! They will by all means see such guidelines (to avoid calling them commandments) as means to control their lives, to limit their freedom and reduce their pleasure. The point is that the separation of what each gender represents in the society from human transcendence is the beginning of the end of the human race. This is because the sexes are not just random representation of being human beings – they are signs that carry a given aspect of the Divine Being. Simply put, being a father or a mother is not just a function that is defined by society – it is a manifestation of maternity or paternity in God, that each represents. From this understanding, the oppression of mother figure in the society can be seen in the exploitation of creation, since it is the rejection of the caring factor in humanity. On the same note, the rejection of the father figure in the society is the beginning of the rejection of authority in all its forms.

Today, therefore, there is a need to re-evaluate the situation of the family and the possibility of the future of the human race if the given trend continues. There is a pressing need to accept the truth that children who have active fathers are less likely to suffer psychological and behavioural problems. The wisdom of the old which taught that having a father figure around can reduce crime and enhance cognitive skills like intelligence, reasoning and language has to be revived. Even if women work in offices just like men, there is a need to accept that children grow up as balanced people when they have the support of both the father and the mother. In other words, being able to provide is not enough. It is not a secret that relationship between children and their fathers affect their self-esteem, how they perform at school and whether they will be able to form happy and long-lasting relationship as adults. While boys learn how to be men from the way their father’s live, girls discover what real affection and respect are, by having a person who challenges them to be not only strong but also disciplined and resourceful. So, for both boys and girls, a good father is a means through which they learn the fact that strength and ability should be tempered and honed with limits and self-restraint. As the world celebrates the father’s day this week (Monday, 21st June), let us pray that the good Lord may awake human consciousness to understand the importance of the father figure in the society.